Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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