is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
