im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
