Porn is love you can see.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
