Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
