i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize