Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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