Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
