I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
