your room smells of hookers.
And success
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
