she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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