lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
