I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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