you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
