i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize
