dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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