I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
