My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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