she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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