So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My feet surprised me
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