wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
