their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
