the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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