she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
