Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
