I want to walk on stilts...naked
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize