So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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