found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
