Sponge bath it is.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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