i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
