I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize