It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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