My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
