she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
