i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
