as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize