Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
