I never want to see another naked old woman again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
