I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
