The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
