dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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