the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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