break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
