i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
