Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
