we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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