DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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