hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize