Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
