i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
