No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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