real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Randomize
