so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You're like the curious george of whores
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
