we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
