Girls should come with a carfax report
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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