absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
