I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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