Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
