i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He's a Shit stain on my heart
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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