My room smells like vodka and shame
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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